The Maker of all human being units is recalling the following units manufactured by HIM:
Make: Male or Female
Model (American, Aisan, Hispanice, etc.): All
The reason for the recall is a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units -- code named "Adam and Eve" -- which resulted in the reproduction of the same defects in all subsequent units.
This defect has been identified as "Subsequential Internal Non-morality". More commonly known and expressed as --- S.I.N.
Some symptoms include but are not limited to:
- Loss of direction, confusion, amnesia of origin
- Fool vocal emissions, gossiping, cursing, slandering
- Selfishness, pride, arrogance
- Depression, loneliness, constant isolation
- Fearfulness, paranoia, timidity
- Idolatry, lust, sexual immorality
- Rebellion, lack of respect for other units
- Feelings of hatred, violent behavior, hot-tempered
- Jealousy, greed, materialism
- Theft, cheating
- Lieing, deceiving, dishonor
- Nursing grudge, unforgiveness, negative emotions
- Stress and anxiety
- Addictive behaviors and/or substances
- Lack of Peace,Joy and Harmony
- Loss of love for The Maker, other units and self
The Manufacturer, who is neither responsible nor liable foir the defect, is providing factory authorized repairs and services FREE of charge to correct the malfunction.
The Repair Technician, JESUS CHRIST, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of all repairs with no additional fees.
For repairs, the toll free number to call in all areas is:
Once connected, please "press 1"---
to activate the REPENTANCE procedure for the burden of S.I.N.
Next "press 2"---
to confirm the ATONEMENT into the heart component by The Repair Technician, JESUS CHRIST
No matter how big or how small the S.I.N. defects are, JESUS CHRIST will replace it with:
Check your "CONCORDANCE" to find out what services are needed. Use only recommended SCRIPTURES conformed to specifications
The HOLY SPIRIT is designed and readily available to provide the best performance in your human being unit.
Please assist where possible by notifying others of this very important and vital recall notice.
If your human being unit needs further professional service, YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER, a.k.a. GOD, can provide all necessary parts and service. You may contact GOD by KNEE-MAIL or call the toll free number PRAYER 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. NOTE!!!! ALL EMERGENCIES WILL BE GIVEN TOP PRIORITY AND MOVED TO THE TOP OF THE LIST!
Thank you for your cooperation in this important matter. We look forward to assisting you soon.
WARNING!!!! Continuing to operate the human being unit without proper specified repairs voids The Manufacturers warranty, thereby, exposes the unit to dangerous and hazardous elements.
For any and all emergency service, " call on JESUS" toll free!
DANGER!!!! The human being units NOT responding to this recall notice will ultimately be irrepairable. If this occurs, it will cause the unit to be permanently impounded, upon which it will have to be discarded into the furnace.
To protect and not jeopardize Heaven, the S.I.N. defected unit will NEVER be permitted to enter. This will prevent any contamination of the pure and sterilized facility.