Getting Into Heaven
A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter explains that it's not easy to get into heaven. There are some criteria that must be met before entry is allowed. So Saint Peter asked him, "Were you a church goer or religious?"
"No." the man answerd.
Saint Peter told him, "Hmmm, that's not good. Were you generous, giving money to the poor or to charities?'
Again the man answered, "Uhhh, no."
Saint Peter told him, "That's not good either. Did you do any good deeds? Maybe help a neighbor? Anything?"
"Hmmm, nope." the man answered again.
Saint Peter started to become concerned and finally says, "Look, everybody does something good sometime. Work with me here! I'm trying to help. Now think."
The man thinks for a minute then says, "Well, I did help this old lady once. I came out of a store and saw that a dozen Hell's Angels had taken her purse and were shoving her around. I threw my bags down and got her purse back. then I told the biggest biker that he was cowardly and I spat in his face."
"Wow!" said Saint Peter. "That's impressive. When did this happen?"
"Oh, about 15 minutes ago." replied the man