NUDITY:
On a hot summer day, a lady was driving in the car with her three young children in the backseat when suddenly a naked woman in a convertable ahead of them stood up and waved. The woman was frantic that her children would see the naked lady.
Then her 5 year-old shouts from the back seat, "Mommy, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
**************************************************
OPINIONS
On the first Friday of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother which read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
***************************************************
KETCHUP
One day, a woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone...
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now because she's hitting the bottle."
***************************************************
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter? Haven't any of you ever seen a little boy before?"
***************************************************
POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, a police officer was interrupted by a little girl about 6-years-old. Looking up and down at the officers uniform, she asked, "Are you a policeman?"
"Yes, I am." He answered and continued writing his report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the policeman. Is that right?"
"Why, yes, that is right," he confidently told the little girl.
"Well then," she said as she extended her foot toward him, "would you please tie my shoe?"
****************************************************
POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when a police officer parked his van in front of the station. While he was gathering his equipment, his K-9 partner, Jake, was in the back of the van and started barking. The officer turned around to see what the dog was barking at and noticed a little boy staring at him.
"Is that a dog you got back there?" the little boy asked.
"It sure is," replied the officer.
Puzzled, the boy looked at him and then towards the back of the van then asked the officer, "Why are you taking him to jail? What did he do?"
****************************************************
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to the elderly shut-ins, a volunteer would sometimes take her 4-year-old daughter on her afternoon rounds.
The little girl was intrigued by the different equipment, such as the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, that the elderly people used.
One day, the volunteer noticed the little girl staring at a pair of false teeth in a glass. The woman braced herself for the set of questions that her daughter would likely be ready to ask.
The little girl merely turned and whispered to her mother, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
****************************************************
DRESS UP
A little girl was watching her parents get dressed for a dinner party. When she saw her dad putting on his tuxedo the little girl warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit!"
"And why not, darling?" asked the dad.
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
****************************************************
DEATH
One day, when a minister was walking along the sidewalk in front of the church, he heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his friends found a dead Robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they placed it into a small box, then dug a hole and were ready for the disposal of the bird.
The friends chose the ministers son to say the prayer and with dignity the boy intoned his version of what he thought his father always said, "Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes."
****************************************************
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. Frustrated she told her mother, "I'm just wasting my time. I can't read. I can't write and they don't let me talk!"
****************************************************
BIBLE
A little boy opened the family Bible. He was fascinated as he flipped through the old pages. Then suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found," the boy excitedly told his mother.
"What have you got there, dear?" asked the mother.
With astonishment in his voice, the boy answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
Brighten someone's day and send this on to them.
BE BLESSED!