"I'm Fine ... How Are You?"
There's nothing the matter with me
I'm just as healthy as can be,
I have arthritis in both knees
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, my blood is thin
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in,
All my teeth have had to come out
And my diet I hate to think about,
I'm overweight and I can't get thin
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
And arch supports I need for my feet...
Or I wouldn't be able to go out in the street,
Sleep is denied me night after night
But every morning, I find I'm alright.
My memory's failing, my head's in a spin...
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
Old age is golden I've heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed.
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup,
And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up.
And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself,
"Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?'
The reason I know my youth has been spent
Is my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went!
But really I don't mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the places my get-up has been.
I get up each morning and dust off my wits
Pick up the paper and read the obits.
If my name is missing, I'm therefore not dead,
So I eat a good breakfast and jump back into bed.
The moral of this as the tale unfolds
Is that for you and me, who are growing old:
It is better to say, "I'm fine" with a grin
Than to let people know the shape we are in.
Author: Diamond C. Aloes